So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I've blown a few things in my day
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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