everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
