whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
