Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
