Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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