Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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