fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
