Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
