i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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