Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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