College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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