I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
