it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
