I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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