i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
