One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
