That's intense
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
