good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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