Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
