thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
