My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
