it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
