I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize