so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
