This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
