Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
worst night to have a conscience
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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