At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
