1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
