Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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