I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
