is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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