so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
