I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
