I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I need to calm my uterus...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
