Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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