I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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