Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
