You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
