I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
