I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
