ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
