my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
