it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
