If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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