I think I died a long time ago.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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