Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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