just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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