Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize