Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
honey bunches of taint.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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