I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
