i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
