I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
sex in a hospital.. check
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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