Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If its not for food we ain't going out.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
