Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
