the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
my god I love twenty year old dicks
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
