Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
