im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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