I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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