I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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