Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
