Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
