i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
