I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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