I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
