the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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