so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
