I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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