sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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