so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
