I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
