He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
