All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
