dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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