But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize